


The Heart Knows

by Ukume94



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-04-26 11:53:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5003773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ukume94/pseuds/Ukume94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>to be continued :)</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Budapest that's where it all started.  
Agent Romanoff knew then that was the end for her heart.  
She worked with Clint for a year but during that year she began to have feelings for him, like a child she fell in love.  
Barton felt something for her too but not like she did.  
That mission for Budapest it was supposed to be fast and easy, which it was.  
Kill people here, find the subject there.  
It was done and over in a few hours no big deal.  
It was when they were headed back to the airplane when Clint saw her, "the one."  
Natasha didn't notice he wasn't inside until she was fastened in.  
Where's Barton? She thought.  
She walked out, walked near a shopping center when she found him.  
He was talking and laughing with her.  
How? When? Why?  
When they got back to S.H.I.E.L.D. He couldn't stop talking about her.  
He found out her name was Laura, she was on vacation with a couple of her girlfriends and she had just finished college that year.  
"I got her number, she's so sweet. She's also from the USA. Born in Kansas, she grew up on a farm." Barton gussied.  
"All this you got from one conversation?" Natasha asked trying to keep her jealousy hidden.  
"No, she's texting me." He smiled at the phone in his hand.  
Natasha couldn't believe this was happening, she couldn't keep her mind from replaying the laughter and smiles they shared together.  
It made her sick.  
She always promised herself to never fall in love, to never give her heart up to someone.  
She didn't listen to herself, she thought it would make everything better.  
Clint and her became close after he saved her, they talked about their pasts, their thoughts, their wishes and their past Missions.  
Those days she cherished.  
She feel in love with him, she knew he also had some feelings for her. She let him in, she gave him her heart.  
Now he was stepping all over it.  
Why was this happening? she thought. sneaking a glance toward Clint, trying not to show her anger.  
Those months past, Clint and Laura were this "thing" it made Natasha sick.  
He would kiss on her and hold her.  
She would giggle and flirt.  
Natasha wasn't impressed, she wasn't disappointed anymore.  
She was angry and disgusted.  
Love, it was gross.  
Months passed, Natasha was working with Nick Fury on another mission with S.H.I.E.L.D.  
She was gone for a about a week when she got a text from Clint telling her that Laura and him were getting married.  
She knew she was working for the good guys, she knew she had to do things that were right but in that moment she wanted to kill everyone who got in her way, she wanted to make them feel as bad as she felt.  
Natasha cried in the bathroom that day, she laid herself in the tub, filled it with steaming hot water.  
She didn't feel the burn, she didn't feel anything in that moment.  
Natasha's heart never fully mended since that day.  
Clint was now a father of two with another on the way, Laura and him were as in love as they were when they first met.  
Natasha kept the memory of her pain stuffed away.  
It would only get in the way.  
After working last year with S.H.I.E.L.D. on how Loki trying to take over the planet with his crazy stick of glory.  
After having Clint's mind compromised.  
She kinda wanted something calm, so to speak.  
Natasha is feeling lonely, she wants to fall in love.  
She doesn't know if her heart is ready for it but she is.  
Natasha lays in bed with her fingers laced threw her short red curly hair.  
Her dreams of fighting and kicking ass playing in her mind.  
She turns over in her bed and opens her eyes slowly. Letting the light from outside peak it's way in.  
She looks to the clock laying on the nightstand the red letters reading 7AM.  
For the first time in weeks she actually has a day to herself.  
No crazy missions.  
She loved missions, it was just that she was tired of doing the same thing.  
Why not something different?  
She gets out of her bed and heads to the shower.  
Her sore muscles and aching body needing the hot water.  
After her shower she changes into an actual pair of jeans and a Rolling Stones T-shirt.  
Today she was relaxing, today was her day.  
She has herself some breakfast and then heads out, not really knowing where she's going.  
She walks down the street towards a small street shopping mall.  
She ends up in the dress section, not really knowing why she's looking she hasn't worn a dress in over twenty years.  
Why was she starting now?  
"May I help you?" A voice behind her asks.  
"No, I was just looking. Thanks." She answers and turns around to see an older woman.  
Her hair white, skin pale and wrinkled, her smile present, wearing a floral pink dress with white and yellow flowers.  
"Are you looking for a dress for a special someone?" She asks.  
"I don't have a special someone."  
"My dear, if you buy one of my dresses from the back you'll find a special someone."  
Natasha didn't want to buy one, she didn't even want to look.  
She looked into the old woman's eyes seeing kindness and love.  
She knew she couldn't say no to her offer.  
Looking at a dress really couldn't hurt.  
"Okay, but will you help me pick one out?"  
The old lady squeaked in joy and headed back towards a door, she unlocked it and headed inside.  
Natasha follows once there inside.  
The back Natasha notices all the dressed hanging on the wall.  
"I'll hand you dressed I think will make you look great."  
She walks close towards the dresses on the wall and starts to look threw them.  
Natasha watches her, she watches how she moves.  
The way she sways while searching for something, the way her eyebrows knit together in concentration, the way her eyes almost squeeze shut when she smiles.  
The old lady hands her s black dress then a white one with Rhinestones and a red one.  
Natasha smiles.  
"Go on, try them on."  
Natasha knows the woman is trying to help, to make her feel wanted.  
Why not me? She thinks.  
So Natasha walks to the dressing room to try on the dresses.


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of his children laughing wake him up, he opens his eyes to see he's in the room alone.  
He sits up in the bed and rubs his eyes.  
Clint loves this home, he loves his family. He would do anything to protect them.  
He gets out of bed his nose targeting the smell of breakfast cooking, bacon and eggs.  
He walks towards the door, walks to the bathroom to relieve himself.  
Once he finishes he heads to the kitchen.  
His children playing outside laughing.  
He turns to see Laura cooking on the kitchen with her green apron on; she refuses not to cook with out it.  
"Good morning." He says. His arms going around his wife and rubbing her swollen belly.  
"Morning. How'd you sleep?"  
"Just fine, how do you feel today?"  
"Good, I'm just tired of my lower back pain. This baby can't come any faster."  
"Let her finish in there, I'm sorry your in pain." He kisses her neck.  
"Breakfast is ready." She whispers.  
"I'll tell the kids."  
He walks towards the front door, the sound of the door squeaking while he opens it.  
"Hey guys, breakfast is ready."  
"Dad!" Their voices squeak as the run toward him.  
Their arms wrapping around him.  
"Come on, your food will get cold." He says while walking towards the table.  
They walk inside the house.  
Clint missed the time his kids wouldn't letting go of his legs, he used to drag them while still walking. It used to be their morning routine, they loved when he walked with them holding onto his legs.  
"Clint, their clothes are gonna get dirty." Laura used to yell inside the house.  
"Their just having fun L." He would say.  
It felt like it was just yesterday. The time has flew.  
He cherished the memories.  
His kids run into the kitchen, he walk slowly behind them.  
They go to grab a plate.  
Laura stopped them before they grabbed the plates. "Okay, I need to see those hands of yours clean before you eat. Go wash them."  
The kids run to the bathroom to wash their hands.  
Clint sits at the table his stomach growling.  
The kids come back and show their palms to their mother.  
"Beautiful. Lets eat."  
They sit and begin to eat.  
\----------------------------------------------------  
Clint relaxes on the patio. His children and wife inside the house playing a game of chutes and latters.  
His Cell phone rings from inside his pocket.  
He takes it out not really wanting to answer.  
"Fury?" He says. He answers the phone. "Nick, what pleasure do I owe thee?"  
"Wouldn't you like to know. Listen, You need to make a trip to the building. Maria has found a problem involving Loki's scepter."  
"I'm on my way."  
_____________________________________________________________  
Clint walks out of the elevator, his sunglasses covering his eyes.  
"Took you long enough. I rest of the team is here, Natasha with you?" Nick asks.  
"No, should she be?"  
Tony stops walking to stand in front of Them. He looks to us, his sarcastic eyes on me. "Just thought, you're just really close so why wouldn't she be with you." Tony says.  
"We'll do it without her." Nick says.  
Clint doesn't want to worry but he couldn't help the worry from coming.  
"Alright, so here's what's happening."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be continued :)


	3. Chapter 3

Clint finishes cutting wood for the fire place, the chill of the the winter air making its way through.  
His mind going a million miles an hour, his children playing, his wife inside making dinner.  
He hears a branch snap from the woods.  
He walks towards the woods and listens.  
He looks everywhere but doesn't see anyone around.  
He gets himself ready for whatever it is.  
This weight over him. Telling him someone is here.  
The smell of cinnamon reaching his nose.  
Nat?   
"Well well Barton, what's got you riled up?" Natasha asks.  
"Nat, you scared the hell out of me."  
She laughs. "I'm sorry, I hope you didn't mess you pants."  
He turns to look at her. His eyes looking into her eyes. Her joke not as funny as she wanted it to be.  
"Nat, why are you here?"  
His words hitting her.  
"Well were friends, I just thought maybe I should go see my archer friend."  
"You normally call when you come."  
"Surprise." Her voice not rising.  
"Why didn't you come to the meeting today?"  
"Was that today?"  
"Nick called you."  
"He probably wanted that twenty I owe him."  
"Seriously, where were you?"  
"Busy."  
"With?"  
"Damn Barton, I was just busy. Can you leave it alone."  
"What's wrong?"  
"What? Nothing."  
"Tell me Nat, what's wrong?"  
"Nothings wrong, I'm here to see you."  
"Why?"  
Natasha's nerves beginning to hit low.  
"I just." She shakes her head.  
"Natasha?" He whispers.  
It's time to leave she thinks.  
She backs up, her legs moving quicker then she wanted them to.  
Before she knows it she's running, her legs moving fast, her heart speeding up.   
She didn't know why she was running she just knew she didn't feel right.  
Is she running from her problems?  
Is she running from him?  
Natasha stops in the middle of the woods.   
Her breath coming out in pants.  
The sound of the birds chirping clearing her mind.  
Why did I run? She thinks.  
"Natasha!" Clint shouts.  
He ran after her, something wasn't right and he had to find out what it was.   
He stops somewhere in the woods his back hitting a tree.  
He tries to catch his breath when Natasha walks out from behind a large tree.  
"What... Did you... Run for?" He asks out of breath.  
"I need to leave."  
"Nat, stop running away from me."  
Running away from you? She thinks.  
"Talk to me, tell me what's wrong."  
Natasha leans onto a large boulder trying to fix the problem in her mind.  
Her hair falling into her face when she looks down towards the fallen leaves on the forest ground.  
He watches his friend, his mind going through every possibility of why she ran.  
Why is she acting this way? He asks himself.  
"Nat." He tries again. "Talk to me. What's wrong? Why did you run?"  
"I need to find myself." Natasha blurts out.  
Her answer keeps Clint quiet.  
Her eyes fill with pain and unshed tears.  
"I need to find who I am."  
"I know who you are."  
"Stop!" She screams. "You know agent Romnoff, you know the warrior. You don't know the real me."  
"I know the real you, I know who you are Nat."  
"No you don't. You don't know me."  
"Okay fine, if I don't know you why not tell me why I don't know you?"  
"Because I never let you know her."  
Her words lingering in the cool air.  
"So I only know agent Romnoff?"  
She nods her head. "That's it."  
"Then who are you now?"  
"I don't know."  
Clint walks toward Natasha but she moves herself away from him.  
"Nat."  
"I need to go MIA for a while."  
"Do you need somewhere to stay."  
"Stop." Her voice stern. "Nobody will know where I am nor you. I need time."   
She grabs her cell phone out of her pocket and throws it to Clint, she then takes her gun from its holder and drops it to the ground as if it were on fire.  
"Nat?"  
"Don't follow me, don't look for me."  
Natasha walks away leaving Clint in the woods alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Clint walks slowly back to his farm with Natasha's gun and cell phone.  
What caused her to want to leave?  
Why was she looking for someone he knew he already knew?  
Nat, he loved her. He really did.  
He knew she liked him those years ago, he knew but he just thought it was a crush. Yes, he may have had one on her also but they never got far enough to make something of it. Natasha knew how to flirt, yes but she never really flirted with him.  
He would flirt with her but she wouldn't show interest in that moment.  
Maybe he was receiving mixed signals then.  
The memory of Natasha in his arms that night after the mission in Russia her home. He found her, he was supposed to kill her but he couldn't, he saw the good in her.  
He took her in, told S.H.E.I.L.D he would take responsibility of her, he fed her, asked her questions, learned things she went through. He knew everything about her. He held her in his arms when her eyes filled with tears, the smell of cinnamon reaching his nose. She always smelt of cinnamon.  
After he looked back into her eyes he realized she hadn't cried.  
She couldn't.  
To think of it he's never seen her cry.  
He walks into the house and into his small office in the back. He calls Nick for help.  
"Barton?"  
"Yeah, it's about Natasha."  
"Okay, what is it?"  
"She left me her phone and gun, she told me she was going MIA for a while. She said she didn't want anyone to look for her. Something had to have happened."  
"I'll send a team to find her, she shouldn't have gone to far."  
"Thank you sir."  
He hangs up the phone and rests his face in his hands.  
Did he do the right thing?  
He was just trying to help a friend.


	5. Chapter 5

"It was stupid, I just ran away from him. Am I doing the right thing?" Natasha asks.  
The old woman pours Natasha some tea then makes herself a cup.  
"I think you need the space. It's good, you showed him you want to be yourself that you don't want to be this person he knows you as. I think it's a good thing, maybe even healthy."  
Natasha takes a drink of the tea then rests the drink on the table.  
Natasha replays the memory of what happened in the woods.  
"Do you still love him?" The old woman asks.  
The memories come to a halt after the woman speaks.  
"What?"  
"Do you still love him?"  
"I." She takes a deep breath in.  
Did she still love him?  
"I don't know?"  
"Of course you knows dear, what does your heart say?"  
"My heart?"  
"Yes, does it tell you you love him or does it tell you, you need to move on?"  
"What if its both?"  
"If it's both that would be the reason you ran. Your heart was telling you."  
"Telling me what?"  
"It was telling you, you still love him but that you need to get over him. You know he's a married man with children, this is the reason your heart is telling you to leave. You know him, you feel comfortable around him you can practically tell him anything, you have a strong connection with him. You love him. These two things are very strong but my dear I would pick the second choice."  
"His wife and children are everything to him, I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt them."  
"My dear love can be a good thing and a bad thing. Try to make it a good thing, if you love him let him go. You could always find another."  
"Not like him."  
"It will be a difficult thing but you will find someone. This Clint deserves peace as well."  
"It's easier said then done."  
"Of course it is, if it were easy you wouldn't be staying with me for these weeks. I'm here to help you let him go. It will be hard, it will cause you to cry. After you will feel new, you'll feel free. So will he."  
Her words sink into Natasha's mind and heart.  
She's right, she knows she needs to let him go. She was only causing herself the pain in seeing him in love. She loved him, she really did but she knows now she needs to let her love go and set these feeling aside.  
He would never be hers.


	6. Chapter 6

"What do you mean you can't find her?" Clint shouts.   
Clint stares out the window of the Avenger building. He watches as the people drive the streets.  
His worry and anger mixing together and forming a monster.  
"Her tracking device has been exterminated." Nick explains.  
He walks closer to Clint.  
"How can that happen? It's inside her tooth?" Clint turns around his anger rising.  
"It's a tooth implant, but it can be removed."   
"Unbelievable." Clint walks away and sits on the couch.  
"Barton, agent Romanoff will be fine. She's a tough woman."  
"How can you not be worried? Nat is out there somewhere probably being underestimated by the people surrounding her. I understand she's tough, I understand she's been through worse but I don't want to see anything happen to her."  
I love her.  
Clint rubs his hands over his face trying to rub some of the stress away.  
Where can Tasha be? He asks himself.  
Nick places his had on Clint's shoulder.  
"We'll find her."


	7. Chapter 7

The week passed and still no Tasha, Clint felt lost.   
He was on Nick that week trying to find her but it was no use; she was hiding.   
They didn't know where to look, they started with searching her complex for clues but it turned out to be a dead end.   
They checked Starks building for clues, she left her suit but that was about it.   
Steve and Bruce helped search for her but turned up empty handed after.   
Clint was afraid she wouldn't come back.  
His hope in finding her was withering into nothing.  
"You look like a lost puppy looking for its owner, Clint you need to relax for a few. Here let me pour you a drink of my fine bourbon." Tony exclaims across the room, walking towards his liquor.  
"Nah, I'm good Stark. I need to keep my mind clear."  
Tony continues to pour the drink into a glass.  
Clint rubs his eyes. His eye becoming a shade of pink since his sleep dissolved into minutes instead of hours.  
Tony sits down on the couch next to Clint clutching the drink in his hand.  
"I told you I didn't want any, I need my mind clear."  
"I poured it for myself." Tony says taking a swig from the glass.  
The elevator opens.  
Clint turns around to see if she finally came back.   
His hope of seeing Tasha safe and sound turns into putty when he sees Bruce and Steve walk out of the elevator and into the room.  
"Did you find her?"  
"We looked again; we didn't find her." Steve sighs.  
"We checked everywhere, she really hid good." Bruce adds.  
"Maybe you should get some pointer from her the next time you want to hide Banner." Stark jokes.  
"You're real funny Stark." Bruce answers plainly.  
Nick walks into the room with a file in his hands.  
"Listen up, we have a problem in Sokovia. Looks like Loki's scepter had been found. They have plans with it that doesn't sit right with me. We need to fly there tonight to take what needs to come back with us to send it back to its rightful home. Thor will be arriving in minutes to help."  
"What about Natasha?" Clint asks his eye going wide.  
"We're gonna have to fight this battle without her."  
The sky outside the windows grow dark, lightning filling in as the light that disappeared.  
"Looks like Thor's here." Stark twirls his finger in the air finishing off his drink.  
The elevator opens again.  
The Asgardian walking into the room his hammer in hand.  
"Why are we still sitting here?" Thor asks ready for battle.  
"We were waiting on you." Nick answers.   
He passes Thor and walks towards the entrance for the air craft.  
Clint knew he needed his head in the battle but he couldn't get his mind to stop thinking about Tasha.  
The men follow Nick, they get ready for what needs to be done.  
Clint changes into his uniform in the locker room inside the aircraft.  
He listens to the other men converse.  
"How's Jane?" Asks Steve.  
"Working hard. She told me to send us her luck or our luck to her. Something in those words."  
"And he's a god?" Whispers Stark to Clint and Bruce.  
Clint smiles for the first time in a week. Bruce shakes his head in disapproval to Tony's joke.  
"Where is?-" Thor begins.  
"Don't ask." Answers Tony.  
"Are you four braiding each others hair? We need to go over the mission." Nick exclaims at the entrance to the locker room.  
The four follow Nick out to the table where one file is placed neatly in the middle.  
"Alright, we've heard they found Loki's scepter and are planning on destroying Berlin. We need to get there before they can even start that project."  
"How'd they get ahold of Loki's scepter, I thought it was in your care?" Asks Thor annoyance showing up in his face.  
"We're trying to find out how it was taken out of our hands and into theirs." Nick stops talking to look towards the door.  
"I can't even leave for a week without all of you getting into trouble."  
Everyone turns to see Natasha in her battle suit ready for the mission. Her hands on her hips. She scans through the men before her, her eyes stopping on Clint.   
His eyes wide in shock she was standing almost five inches from him.  
"Agent Romanoff, we need to speak in another room NOW!" Nick declares his voice raising.  
She follows him into another room and closed the door behind her.  
She knows he's going to shout at her for leaving without a word. She was ready for whatever he had coming to her.  
"I should have you suspended for the shit you pulled this week. You could have been in danger. It was a very stupid move you pulled."  
"I know sir."  
"Did you enjoy your freedom?"  
She keeps her mouth shut.  
"We need to put another tracking tooth inside your mouth."  
"I didn't destroy it."  
"Where did you keep it? We looked for you but couldn't find the tracker?"  
"Lets just say I got someone to turn it off while I was gone."  
"Let me tell you something Agent Romanoff, what you did was a very risky thing. You could have been in danger without us knowing about it. You must not ever do something as stupid like what you just pulled again. Am I clear?"  
"Yes sir."  
"Where did you go?"  
"I would like to keep it as a classified location."  
"Denied!"  
"It's classified sir."  
"Give me the location that you were in hiding agent Romanoff."  
"The moon."  
Nick slams his fists on the table he's next to. The sound of the metal echoing.  
"This is a warning Romanoff, if you will not share the information with me I'll have to take you off the mission."  
"Then take me off, I will not share where I was."  
She was not going to lose this battle.   
She deserved to have something to herself for once. She wouldn't tell him where she was.  
Nick rolls his hands into fists his eye squinting towards her.  
"Give me a location."  
She hears his voice calm down, she knows she can tell him.  
"I was in Boston in a small hotel, I used Maria's name." She lies.  
"Now get your ass back in there and lets get this mission done."


End file.
